At a snail’s pace
In my eyes, an escargot is nothing short of a culinary miracle. Someone had to look at that creature and say, hmmm, let’s roast this slimy thing on a fire and eat it. The BBC shared a study that says Homo Sapiens living in the Benidorm area were the first recorded group to include snails in their diet.
Although France has turned escargot preparation into an art, it is not the only country that eats snails. Greece, Italy, Spain, Portugal, Germany, and the US all eat them as well. France is actually in third place, behind Spain and Morocco.
Some say France has embraced eating them because of their disdain for fast food.
Escargots are also in many jokes, and I will end with a couple.
1. A bloke is sent by his wife to get snails to make escargot...
"I expect ya back in an hour as the bread's already bakin' and the wine's already breathin' on the table" says his wife .
The bloke walks down the path towards town and the local market. Upon arriving he finds the snails, and he spends a good five minutes picking out the biggest and juiciest ones. The cashier rings him up and hands him his snails in a brown paper sack.
As he heads back to the home he passes by a pub and decides to head in for one quick drink, since he still had forty five minutes to be home.
Two hours later he realizes he's late, throws some money on the counter, and rushes out the door while exclaiming "Oh Lord help me I'm late, the Mrs. is going to kill me!"
As he reaches the gate to the house he trips and falls and the snails go everywhere on the ground.
His wife, hearing the commotion outside, slams open the front door, sees her husband, and with the look of hell to pay she says "You're two hours late! What's your excuse?! It had better be a good 'un!"
The bloke, in his drunken state, looks at the snails, looks back at his angry wife, looks back at the snails, and says "Alright lads! Five more feet...we're nearly there!"
The bloke walks down the path towards town and the local market. Upon arriving he finds the snails, and he spends a good five minutes picking out the biggest and juiciest ones. The cashier rings him up and hands him his snails in a brown paper sack.
As he heads back to the home he passes by a pub and decides to head in for one quick drink, since he still had forty five minutes to be home.
Two hours later he realizes he's late, throws some money on the counter, and rushes out the door while exclaiming "Oh Lord help me I'm late, the Mrs. is going to kill me!"
As he reaches the gate to the house he trips and falls and the snails go everywhere on the ground.
His wife, hearing the commotion outside, slams open the front door, sees her husband, and with the look of hell to pay she says "You're two hours late! What's your excuse?! It had better be a good 'un!"
The bloke, in his drunken state, looks at the snails, looks back at his angry wife, looks back at the snails, and says "Alright lads! Five more feet...we're nearly there!"
2.
At a fancy restaurant last night, a man was complaining about his escargot.
The waiter just shrugged it off. "I'm sorry sir," the waiter told him. "All snails are final."
I’m not going to share the many versions of “look at that S car go.”
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